Contrary Thinking By International Hypnosis Federation President, Author, Artist and More Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD
“My Hypnotist told me to do the opposite of what they said… So I didn't. “
Rebellious souls some are. You say black; they say white. You say up; they say down. You say yes; they say no.
Contrarians endlessly mis-match for attention or for defensive dust in your eyes. Some give opposing views as a family tradition, others as a hobby. In the stock market, contrarians buy while others are selling.
Contrarians do the opposite of a suggestion. Tell your contrary son, “Don’t marry that girl,” and he will. So, tell a contrary kid, “Marry that girl…”
Saying, “Don’t write that story” motivates some to write the story. Or “I know you don’t want______.” And they’ll then want to
In hypnosis, the right opposite suggestion to a contrarian at the right time works wonders; “Imagine being as stubborn about being healthy and happy as you are about being contrary! Reversals cause the rebellious to detach and muse. The hypnotic suggestion, “The more you try to move your arm, the more rigid it becomes” uses this paradoxical contrarian phenomenon. It is good to say, “I hear you and understand your viewpoint. How did you come to know that?”
The words “do not” often brings out the contrary notion “Do.” A contrarian who wants to eliminate cookie bingeing can say, “Instead of eating a bag of cookies tonight. I’m going to eat six bags. If I can eat one, I can eat six.” With such an absurd suggestion your inner mind says; “This is ridiculous. I don’t want six. In fact, I don’t even want one.” Hopefully, the contrarian eats far less than before.
In counseling a contrarian, you hypnotically turn the tables to evoke the results you really want. Use stubborn determination sparingly until you gather all the facts or all rebellion breaks loose and you lose. Then craft the perfect “reversal” for that specific person. Then you might tell a contrarian how to lower their self-esteem for them boost self-esteem.
Rumor has it that a hopelessly obese woman said to Milton Erickson, “I have to lose 150 pounds.”
“I will help you only if you promise to do exactly what I tell you. Do I have your word?” He said.
“Yes, whatever you say.”
“Very good. Come back and see me when you have gained another 35 pounds.”
She forced herself to follow his instructions and was then so disgusted with eating that she easily lost all 185 pounds and then some. She had stubbornly resisted losing the weight and when Erickson insisted that she gain the weight, her exaggerated eating caused her to resist eating. When she exaggerated her problem in this way, she let go of it.
Contrarian Principles have been named “Law of Reverse Effect (LORE),” “Reverse Action,” “Reverse Effect Principle,” “Paradoxical Thinking,” “Law of Opposites,” “Reverse Psychology,” “Positive Rebellion” “Filibustering” or “Devil’s Advocacy.”
SLEEP… NOT.
Let’s say your contrarian client has trouble sleeping perhaps have them say, “I wish I can’t sleep tonight,” “I hope I won’t sleep tonight.”
Ormond McGill brought contrarianism to great use in his CD “Yoga-Nidra Hypno-Yoga” (available at hypnosisfederation.com) with the refrain “say to yourself; I will not… go to sleep… I will not… go to sleep… I will not… go to sleep.” Guess what happens.
Mary Poppins sings to contrary children:
“Stay awake; don't rest your head.
Don't lie down upon your bed.
While the moon drifts in the skies,
Stay awake; don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake don't nod and dream
Stay awake don't nod and dream”
Local Personality, Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD is a hypnotherapist, mindfulness and NLP trainer, artist and the author of 25 books. She certifies practitioners through the International Hypnosis Federation. You can call her at 310 541-4844.
