Raise Your Praise By Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD - International Hypnosis Federation President, Author, Artist and More
It’s a great feeling to give a compliment and see a face light up! If done well, a compliment rewards both of you.
Mutual giving and receiving is a kindly exchange of gifts. However, if a compliment is given poorly or not received well it stings. When “What a lovely dress” is greeted with “This old thing… I’ve had this forever.” OUCH!
Kindness deflected leaves you rejected. Ironically, those who deflect compliments often like to give them. This one-way communication deprives another of the same pleasure. Giving and not receiving is like breathing out and never breathing in. So here are some helpful ideas to raise your praise:
ONE: AVOID MIXED MESSAGES: A compliment with a slap, stings: “Wonderful, you cleaned your room… Why haven’t you done it for the past six months?” Mixed messages evoke mixed up children. Instead give clean language complimentx instead “Wonderful, you cleaned your room.” Then zip it.
TWO: USE THEIR NAME. There’s no sweeter sound than hearing your name kindly spoken.
THREE: BE SPECIFIC. “Karen, wonderful! You cleaned and organized your room!” or; “Jan, your dress is a beautiful color.” or “Greg, how kind of you to come to help when I was overloaded…” or at work, “John, thanks for getting me your sales report a day early.
FOUR: PRAISE AN ACTION. “Karen, you did a fantastic job organizing things.” Or “Jan, your dress is beautiful; so artfully chosen.” or “Greg, how kind of you to take time out to come and help me…” or “John, Thank you for getting the report to me a day early.”
FIVE: ADD A QUESTION. “Karen, you did a fantastic job organizing things; how much time did it take?” or, “Jan, your dress is a beautiful color; Have you always had such a great color sense?” or “Greg, how kind to come and help me. Did you miss your ball game?” or “John, thanks for getting me the sales report a day early. Did you work on it at home?
FIVE: AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. “Karen, you did a fantastic job organizing things. I’m so grateful?” Or, “Jan, your dress is beautiful; thank you for bringing a smile to my face?” or “Greg, when you came over to help when I was overloaded, it let me to do the things I needed to get done…” “John, so appreciate that your gave me your sales report a day early. It really helped get the report done on time,”
SIX: ABOUT THEM
“Karen you did a fantastic job cleaning your room. You’re so good at organizing things?” or “Jan, your dress is a beautiful color; you obviously have a terrific color sense.” Or “Greg, you’re such a generous person to take time to help.” Or “John, how thoughtful that get right to it and finished and with such a positive attitude!?
SEVEN: BE A GRACIOUS RECEIVER
When someone compliments you, be sure to say “THANK YOU!” And, you can add, “Coming from you, that’s really special.”
Oh, while you are at; how about giving yourself a loving compliment and then thanking yourself! So, thank you, Dear One, for reading this; you obviously love learning and I’m grateful that you took time to read the things I write for wonder-full YOU.”
Dr. Shelley is teaching self-hypnosis to first responders, and taking a group to Sedona April 5-8 for a certification class in
Past Life Regression Journeys.
Dr. Shelley can be reached at: 310 541-4844.
Local Personality, Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD is a hypnotherapist, mindfulness and NLP trainer, artist and the author of 25 books. She certifies practitioners through the International Hypnosis Federation. You can call her at 310 541-4844.
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