Self Love Four Step by Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD
Self Love Four Step
by Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD
Anna Margolina writes; “I struggled with the concept of unconditional love. I was taught that unconditional love begins by loving others before yourself. Yet, what if my love quest began with unconditionally loving me first? After all, if I fill myself to the brim with self-love, it would be easier to pour more love to those around me. So, I cracked the love code first with me, myself, and I. It was a good choice because we were readily available, we knew me better than anyone else, and we love to learn. As I've learned to love myself, I find it spilling out to those around me for no particular rhyme or reason.”
Here are four fine lessons for self-love:
1. ENCOURAGE YOURSELF. Do you only like yourself when you look, act and behave in pleasant ways? Do you only like yourself when you display talents and accomplishments? If you don’t perform at optimum or if you aren’t pleasant, do you withdraw self-love? “Like” and “love” are two separate things. The more you encourage yourself, the more you fall in like and love. Unconditional love is not conditional.
2. DO BETTER. Do self-arguments make you wrong? Errors in judgment happen. Life happens. If you made a ‘less than” decision recall why, lovingly dust yourself off, forgive yourself and get back on track. Unconditional love is learning better ways via experience. There’s no wrong when you respect yourself as a growing and maturing personality.
3. WHAT'S LOVE FOR YOU? What is love anyway? It may not be the brand of love your family sold. My mother showed “love” by cleaning with a vengeance and with yelling and tantrums if my room was a mess. Her behavior was based on her chemistry and upbringing. Love for mom meant that I take on the co-dependent role as her rescuer because she thought of herself as a victim. Love for me is truth-telling and caring enough about myself to not take on the illusions of insensitive people yet to learn self love and the rights of neighbors. For me, unconditional love does not carry on every family tradition. Self-love cuts the strings of being someone else’s puppet. What does your heart say?
4. TALK WITH YOUR HEART. Where does love live for YOU. My heart answers; “Love is compassion. It’s a celebration for the gift of life. Love is the miracle of creation. Love is the flowering of self-discovery in every moment. Love brought you here on this earth-walk and is the unflappable essence of who you are. You feel love when you behold a sunset, hold a newborn, pet the cat, embrace a beloved, or when you exchange a smile with a stranger.” It seems self-love is contagious. Who knows, perhaps your unconditional self-love might just start a love pandemic!
Local Personality, Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD is a hypnotherapist, mindfulness and NLP trainer, artist and the author of 25 books. She certifies practitioners through the International Hypnosis Federation.
You can call her at 310 541-4844.