HAPPINESS 101

By Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD

Studies underscore mechanisms that evoke happiness. When you get down to it, in engineering terms, you are like a thermostat, a “bio-energetic cybernetic feedback unit.” Your reactions excite your inner alchemist to cascade hormones and biochemistry throughout your system. And your biochemistry, in turn, determines your reactions… mentally, physically and emotionally. When you calibrate your spin toward joy, you do a happy dance and so do those around you. Here are nine easy ways to be happy:

1. YOU ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE. Happy people focus more on the positive aspects of things that cause negatives to fade into the background. As you focus on desirable parts of what’s happening, an experience becomes entrenched in memory. Then in retrospect, you’ll look back and smile.

2. CHOOSE HAPPINESS. Abe Lincoln said it well; “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” As you commit to long-term happiness as your goal it is like dropping a pebble in the pond. Joyous energy expands from you. You’re more fun to be around and your happiness is contagious. Nobody likes to hang out with a sourpuss. As you put a positive spin on what you want, you generate more positive outcomes.

3. CREATE COOPERATIVE ATTITUDE. The happiest people celebrate their own successes, as well as the successes of those around them. A spirit of cooperation (not competition) uplifts family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. When it comes to friends, some stay and some go. Decide if they’re worthy to know. Choose “when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em, when to walk away… and when to run.,,”

4. STAY IN THE PRESENT. The past is just a memory, the future a fantasy and your life is, in fact, here and now. Sure you’ve made mistakes and learned from them! You’re human after all. Others can hurt you and made you say “ow” so do what happy people do; blur the icky details and embrace the benefits of what you learn. This lets you forge forward with more discernment here and now.

Yes, there are a few mean, selfish, or unreliable people who you may not choose to be around, but harboring negative feelings can drag down your mood faster than Gallagher can smash a watermelon! Move on and choose joy NOW.

5. GENERATE EMOTIONAL WELL BEING. It’s impossible to be miserable when you laugh or smile. That’s because your biology generates feel good hormones that overrides a vegal nerve’s fight, flight, fear and freeze reaction and instead stimulates a rapport, relax, regenerate and have fun response. Your digestion and expression responds in healthy ways too.

6. TELL YOURSELF GOOD STORIES. Your three musketeers– your head, heart and gut– each have a voice, so listen well to the stories they tell… each viewpoint contributes to your outcome. Forge an agreement with me, myself and I and do not allow stories to be commandeered by any negative sub-personality.

7. SELF CARE. Do kind, nourishing things for YOU first. If you don’t care for yourself, you aren’t much good to anyone else.

8. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.

9. FOLLOW YOUR BLISS. Caste a wide net and notice what you are thinking. Then keep the best and throw back the rest. As you track what you find truly meaningful, you fulfill your life’s purpose. Now set your internal thermostat to happiness. You deserve it!

Local Personality, Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD is a hypnotherapist, mindfulness and NLP trainer, artist and the author of 25 books. She certifies practitioners through the International Hypnosis Federation. You can call her at 310 541-4844.

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