Don't Worry, Be Hoppy! By Patrick Stednitz
Don't Worry, Be Hoppy!
By Patrick Stednitz
If life isn’t quite going your way lately, no problem, at least you’re living in paradise, and so are the rabbits. Since our region of Palos Verdes is a peninsula, there is a 270-degree seabreeze buffer which guarantees the best weather in Southern California. Further that benefit with the fact that PVP is also a hill, and we have a 360-degree view that is unchallenged anywhere. These traits make our area an idyllic place for anyone, but there’s much more to our rich culture, so let me be your guide through this complex rabbithole.
The rural landscape is home to a plethora of flora and fauna, and amidst fondness for the peafowl plus foxes, bunnies are a favorite. I’m not referring to familiar names that we’ve experienced from our past, such as: Ricochet Rabbit, Thumper, Roger Rabbit, Energizer Bunny, Br’er Rabbit, Peter Cottontail, or Velveteen Rabbit. There actually are, these fuzzy and witty creatures, each with a lucky rabbit’s foot, times 4 – it’s no wonder PV people are so fortunate. Still haven’t seen one? Well, they’re not obvious as the loud and proud peacocks, or obscure as the sly and foxy vixens, but our long-eared and cotton-tailed neighbors are definitely abundant under your shrubs. Their thick fur traps excessive heat quickly, so if you are outside during dawn or dusk when they are not seeking refuge from the sun, then greater viewing opportunities will arise.
They are particularly attracted to gardens with their preferred edibles, and not only carrots, by the way. Rest assured “if you build it, they will come” as they are never too far away, especially on The Hill. In fact, according to the Palos Verdes Peninsula Land Conservancy education director, Connie Smith, the “population is exploding… [last] year’s heavy winter rains produced an abundance of plant life… purple sage, California bush sunflowers, or grasses.” Although I grew up on the peninsula, as a young boy I didn’t yet know that we had bunnies. The closest that I came to seeing one was when my bucktoothed bully neighbor called my clumsy smart friend a jackass, to which my buddy then referred to his aggressor as a jackrabbit.
Besides their usual shtick of radar-like ears and seeming to perpetually sit on a powder puff, this breed of rabbit can only boast a top speed of 19 mph while the human record is 28. Nevertheless, this feat is amazing for a creature less than 1.5 feet long, and they rely more on their tendency to use camouflage to evade predators before attempting to outrun other animals (probably a learned lesson from losing to The Tortoise in that famous race). Their trademark behavior is to flee in a zig-zag pattern, because they insist to elude with an attitude, as Bugs Bunny would do. There is a threat that they cannot outrun though, because they are currently experiencing their own pandemic, which is only contagious to other members of their native species of desert cottontail. The scientific name is Sylvilagus audubonii, not to be confused with Superfast autobahn, where Germans legally drive cars for up to almost 200 mph, because, well, they don’t allow anyone who loses to a tortoise. Despite their virus though, having multiple litters of offspring annually, eliminates the threat of extinction, as long as they inevitably maintain their stereotypical drive for proliferation, as Tony Trutanich Jr. (owner of the Old Tony’s restaurant) does with his Playboy Bunny girlfriends. Personally, my favorite date was the one whose nose twitched like a rabbit, so I eventually named her Bunbun. Yes, it turns out that the audubonii live a racy lifestyle, except when it comes to finishing first with mythical tortoises.
Becoming accustomed to the features of this species is important, and not because they are a relative of the mountain pika (inspiration for the main character of the famous cartoon Pokemon) because you’ll only find inanimate Pikachu in human dwellings. According to local resident, Michael Hixon, individuals living in Rancho Palos Verdes have recognized European rabbits (distinguished by their difference in size, shape, color, behavior, etc) residing in Hesse Park, which indicates a violation of the rule “no dumping of pets.” We are not just referring to merely a few, but a whole fluffle (as opposed to a herd, flock, etc). This was a common breed sold at stores during Easter, but is not accustomed to surviving in our environment, so some were adopted and others were taken to Point Vicente Animal Hospital. Lejla Hadzimuratovic, president and founder of Bunny World Foundation, said that “abandoning animals is a crime and those perpetrators should be charged with felony animal cruelty.”
I believe the saying still goes, “When in Rome, do as the Romans” so When in PV don’t worry, and jump for joy! We’re only a few months into the new year, so it’s not too late (like White Rabbit in Alice’s Wonderland) to be that person that you’ve always wanted to be: fun as Trix Rabbit, original as Oswald Rabbit, musical like Eddie Rabbitt, or heroic like Monty Python’s holy grail rabbit. You can always become worthy, maybe get a HAREcut from Brett Harris (barber at The Parlor Shop), to receive a rare visit from Easter Bunny. Remember, you're nobunny unless somebunny loves you!
Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. -- John Steinbeck
Patrick Stednitz is a lifetime Palos Verdes resident, regional philanthropist, and international educator with several academic degrees. This Veteran is also a multi-medium artist, enjoys international versions of Chess, swims in the ocean for leisure sometimes for 8 hours, and enjoys making friends with aquatic animals who recognize him. You are encouraged to view his peninsular activity and participate in his activities of your vicinity, at the forum in which he administrates: www.facebook.com/groups/SOUTHBAY.CA