You Got This! Thanksgiving Day Dining with Decorum By Beverly Hills Manners Expert Lisa Gaché
You Got This! Thanksgiving Day Dining with Decorum
By Beverly Hills Manners Expert Lisa Gaché
At Thanksgiving time (or any time), many of life’s most joyous occasions occur around the table. Family and friends gather, food is prepared or purchased, and everlasting memories are made. With the tone properly set and the elements painstakingly in place, all that is remaining is how to properly navigate your way around the table and elegantly bring the food into your mouth.
Improving dining skills is the single most popular request we receive among the bevy of manners-related topics. While some may find this a vacuous pursuit, on the contrary, the art of fine dining is meant to be mastered. After all, the way we hold a fork and knife reveals a lot about who we are, where we came from, and where we aspire to go.
If dining on fine China or handcrafted ceramic dishes, all items are placed in an organized fashion guiding us through the courses with ease and dictating what we will be eating and when. The goal always to bring each bite effortlessly into our mouths while focusing on building relationships and forming bonds.
Whether attending an intimate gathering with a select few or a massive affair with hundreds, the basic tenets still apply and are expected to be upheld. Dress appropriately for the occasion, keep the conversation flowing, avoid stirring the pot, don’t disgust your dining partners, and (just in case) have an endless supply of libations on hand.
Begin with good posture. Enter your chair from the right, take your seat and plant both feet evenly on the floor. Do not recline. Sit up straight and allow yourself about three inches distance from the edge of the table.
Learn how to navigate the table. Think of the acronym BMW. B is for your bread plate on the left, M is for your meal in the middle and W is for your water glass on the right. Forks and knives are laid in pairs with the forks on the left and the knives on the right. Spoons are also on the right. Use the outermost pieces of silverware first and work your way in towards your plate. A
Use your napkin, not your sleeve. The napkin is used to wipe food from your mouth, to blot your lips before taking a drink, to catch crumbs that may fall into your lap or to use as a barrier if you happen to sneeze or cough while at the table. Before beginning your meal, lift your napkin with your left hand to open. Fold it in half lengthwise and lay the napkin across your lap with the fold facing toward you. If you need to excuse yourself during the meal, place your napkin on the seat of your chair, when you return place it back in your lap. To signal the end of the meal, pinch the center of the napkin and place it on the left side of your place setting.
Chew with your mouth closed and keep elbows off the table. Nothing is more unpleasant than witnessing a fellow diner talk with a mouth full of food. Use your body language to communicate until you have had a chance to completely swallow the contents in your mouth. It is considered bad manners to keep your elbows on the table while eating, however your forearms are allowed on the table in between courses or when resting after you have completed your meal.
Use your utensils, not your fingers. Different cultures have different standards for table manners. In some countries it is perfectly acceptable to eat with your fingers, however in America we are taught to eat our food with utensils or silverware.
Break and butter bread. Tear off only a bite size piece of bread. Use your butter knife to spread a small amount of butter onto the piece that you wish to eat. Repeat same with each new piece of bread.
Learn how to eat like the French. There are two styles of eating, the Continental style and the American style. Most Europeans practice the Continental style of eating their food with their fork in the left hand and the knife in the right. The fork tines are face down and used to gently pierce the food while the knife acts as the pusher. The pattern is to cut and then eat, cut and eat. It is much more efficient way of dining and presents a more polished appearance.
Practice the secret language of waitstaff. The resting position and the finished position are the secret codes to alert servers if you are taking a break or finished with your meal. To signal the resting position, use your fork and knife to make an inverted “V” on your plate this will ensure that your server will not remove your food until you are finished. To signal the finished position, close your fork and knife together, fork tines down, at an angle on the right side of your plate. This lets your server know that you have completed your meal and it is okay to take your plate.
Make pleasant table conversation. Great table conversation builds relationship and creates bonds. Acceptable table topics include: the weather, cultural or sporting events, seasonal plans, world news, recent happenings, the latest in movies, music and television, and the arts. Avoid these table conversation taboos: religion, politics, money, illness, or dieting.
Excuse yourself from the table. Excuse yourself from the table if you need to use the washroom or tend to a matter away from the table during or after your meal. Use the words “excuse me” to alert your tablemates and then push in your chair.
End the meal on a high note. Once a meal has completed, place your napkin on the left-hand side of your place setting. You do not need to fold it neatly, just pinch the center and lay it down on the table. When you rise make sure to push in your chair. At home or if you are a guest in someone else’s home, offer to help clear the table.
Founder and CEO of Beverly Hills Manners, Lisa Gaché is a nationally recognized etiquette coach and lifestyle expert. She provides practical modern day solutions and helps clients use the power of social intelligence to enhance their lives, both personally and professionally.
Featured on national television (The Today Show, Access Hollywood, Dr. Phil) and in print media (USA Today, New York Times, The Hollywood Reporter, The Telegraph), Ms. Gaché received her certification as a Corporate Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant from The Protocol School of Washington along with a mark of distinction from The English Manner in London.
Lisa’s book, Beverly Hills Manners: Golden Rules from the World’s Most Glamorous Zip Code, published November 2014, is the go-to-guide for parents and Saudi princesses, NFL coaches and Oscar nominees. She is currently working on big vision to bring these crucial life tools and social change to the world. For further information, please contact www.beverlyhillsmanners.com.
Related Articles
