Renowned Beverly Hills Manners Expert Lisa Gaché Shares 7 Social Graces to Change the World Right Now
Renowned Beverly Hills Manners Expert Lisa Gaché Shares
7 Social Graces to Change the World Right Now
On a recent Sunday morning, standing in line at my favorite lettuce stand at the Farmers Market I noticed a woman wearing a T-shirt with a slogan that made me do a double-take. It wasn’t brazen or profane, it didn’t lean politically right or left, and it wasn’t shamey. It simply read, “I’ll do me, you do you.”
I could completely imagine my two teenage daughters or perhaps a proud millennial wearing these words across their chest, but not the classic-looking woman who was pushing sixty. What life experiences had she gone through to warrant such a statement? Did she always feel this way or was this a more recent sentiment reflective of our current times?
And then this week, I was heading home and noticed a car coming in the opposite direction with a license plate that completely caught my eye. It read, GIT EVEN. I couldn’t believe it. Have we all sunk so low that we need to resort to these in-your-face messages? Do we really need more vitriol in the world?
It’s no surprise we’re bombarded with covert threats and passive aggressive promises everywhere we turn. If you watch the news, read the Internet or pick up a paper, it’s easy to understand the anger, fear, and frustration. But we cannot function long term with an “each to their own” dictum or a “mind your own business” motto. The “don’t tell me how to live my life, and in return, I will not tell you how to live yours.” adage is helpful to no one.
Herein lies the problem. If everyone’s minding their own business and doing their own thing, then no one is thinking of anyone except themselves and the result is that every body’s miserable! Its literally impossible for any of us to live our lives in peace if we do not adopt a “we do we” way of existing.
But here’s the secret, “we do we” has to start with you! Here are 7 social graces that can change your world, my world, our world right now.
· Consideration (and kindness). Whether out and about or at home, there are simple acts of consideration and kindness we can display that can make a world of difference. Holding a door open for a person in need, picking up the phone and having a conversation, offering a friendly greeting to a passerby (even while wearing a mask), asking someone, “how can I help?” There are endless ways to display the most basic courtesies that show we are consciously making an effort to put someone else before ourselves.
· Respect (and deference). We’re constantly reminded to respect everything outside of ourselves: our elders, authority, the environment and this is absolutely correct. However, respect must start with the ‘self’ first. How do we exhibit self-respect? We exude this based on three categories: how we present ourselves, how we speak, and how we behave. We can get dressed each day for ourselves, our spouses, our children. We can speak in a manner that doesn’t contradict or condemn others. We can smile and have a softness in our demeanor that can also extend into deference. Deference is that humble submission we grant as a sign of respect for someone or something we revere.
· Communication (and conversation). Everything crumbles when we don’t communicate in a civilized manner. It’s entirely possible to have discourse that doesn’t devolve into an argument. If we apply a smidge of restraint we can use this filter before spewing every thought and feeling that comes to mind. Conversation is also a two-way street reminding us that it consists of both give and take, equal parts listening and speaking – or actually more listening than speaking. A great communicator is similarly adept at making small talk and conducting deeper conversations that speak to the soul.
· Gratitude (and grace). Taking a moment to acknowledge the gift of life and all the good that is possible is always the best mindset. Those that are grateful and gracious receive the greatest rewards. The universe always delivers when we focus on the good stuff rather than what is missing. “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” is entirely true. Success is guaranteed to those who are sweeter rather than spiteful.
· Genuineness (not authenticity). We hear a lot about being our authentic self when in fact what we really want is to be genuine. The distinction is that being authentic is more of an internal exercise about the self; whereas, being genuine is all about others. Strive to be genuine, be your word, be someone people can count on and trust. In return, those who show up in your world will match you in character.
· Patience (and calm). Patience is a virtue indeed. In today’s world of immediate gratification, everyone acts entitled – not just the young and reckless. Whether being able to wait patiently in line at a market or remain on hold with a customer service rep for what feels like forever, it’s always in our best interest to take a beat and keep our cool. Chaos and disruption never solves anything. If we remain composed and calm, anything is possible.
· Positivity (and joy). Be a ray of sunshine that brightens someone’s day. There’s enough negative surrounding us, but we can tip the scales in our favor if we project an air of positivity with our words and actions. Think about it, if each individual chose to see the glass half-full rather than half-empty, what might be possible? If we can train ourselves to find joy in the little things like taking a walk out in nature or perusing the farmers market and devouring a delicious piece of fruit. How much happier and content might we feel?
Ready to transform yourself? Hop on our calendar https://calendly.com/bhmappt/20min for a free 20-minute consultation to get you started! More info at www.beverlyhillsmanners.com.
Founder and CEO of Beverly Hills Manners, Lisa Gaché is a nationally recognized etiquette coach and lifestyle expert. She provides practical modern day solutions and helps clients use the power of social intelligence to enhance their lives, both personally and professionally.
Featured on national television (The Today Show, Access Hollywood, Dr. Phil) and in print media (USA Today, New York Times, The Hollywood Reporter, The Telegraph), Ms. Gaché received her certification as a Corporate Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant from The Protocol School of Washington along with a mark of distinction from The English Manner in London.
Lisa’s book, Beverly Hills Manners: Golden Rules from the World’s Most Glamorous Zip Code, published November 2014, is the go-to-guide for parents and Saudi princesses, NFL coaches and Oscar nominees. She is currently working on big vision to bring these crucial life tools and social change to the world. For further information, please contact www.beverlyhillsmanners.com.