Mind: Open or Shut? By International Hypnosis Federation President, Author, Artist and More Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD
(excerpt from her latest book “Great Relationships”)
When mom says, “Put on your jacket” and a teen defiantly leave the jacket at home; “just because.” It’s only later, when teeth chatter in cold, the young rebel may secretly concedes, “I should have listened…”
A strong knee-jerk reflex of “don’t tell me what to do.” happens to people of all ages who dig in their heels, even though logically, the advice may be, “a good thing.”
REAL SCIENCE
If YOU bristle when someone tells you what to do, science says that your vegal nerve reflex learned to consider advice (or a particular way advice is given) as a “threat” to autonomy and broadcasts hormonal danger.
This same thing can happen when a wise part of you tells you to do something you really need to do and you ignore it or don’t follow through. A conditioned knee-jerk is usually a hypnotic relic from the past that comes back to haunt you in the present and, if left to linger, seeds self-sabotage.
On the other hand, if you are too compliant, you could be manipulated and controlled to do things that are out-of-alignment with your core values which also sabotages your best interests. Discernment is a delicate dance. In Judge, Judy Sheinland’s words; “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”
WHAT TO DO WHEN TOLD WHAT TO DO
To disarm a self-limiting “don’t tell me what to do” racket, embrace all input as your opportunity to embrace or discard ideas. Freedom of choice gives you a chance to open your mind and think freely so YOU decide “is this idea is in my best interest?” or not. This solution, of course, is my advice– Take or leave it– It’s up to YOU.
Oh, and whatever you do, follow my advice only if you want to.
Local Personality, Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD is a hypnotherapist, mindfulness and NLP trainer, artist and the author of 25 books. She certifies practitioners through the International Hypnosis Federation. You can call her at 310 541-4844. Website: https://www.hypnosisfederation.com/
